I Need You To Know
by SmallTownBelle
Summary: When Blaine passes away, he leaves Kurt and his little sister Marhly behind with a pair of journals he needs them to read.  "I know this will be hard, but you need to read these."   Klaine, flashbacks often.
1. Chapter 1

Kurt had decided Marhly Anderson was adorable when he met her.

She had been dancing around the Anderson household in a pair of pink yoga pants and one of her elder brother's grey v-necks, singing Lady Gaga at the top of her lungs when Kurt walked in. She had blushed a fierce red, and they were friends soon after.

She was a ballet dancer, and it was two weeks into their friendship when they started to go dancing every Thursday night, leaving Blaine at home with Finn.

But Marhly was anything but adorable at this moment. She was a wreck, just like Kurt as they stood together, hands held tight. Marhly wasn't in her usual bright coloured printed dresses, just a solid black dress she had worn for multiple dance recitals, but she would never be able to wear it again. A feathered headband she and Kurt had picked out for her Junior Prom sat atop her dark brown hair.

It curled just like Blaine's did, but not as much. Her curls were loose, but she had always been jealous of Blaine's tight curls. She looked so much like Blaine, her face just a softened version of his; she shared his hazel eyes that were now flooded with tears.

"Go ahead." a soft voice had prodded, and Kurt and Marhly both released a handful of dirt, both bursting into sobs as a small stone clacked against the wooden box that sat 6 feet into the ground.

"Blaine!" She sobbed, falling to her knees, unable to hold her weight anymore. Kurt struggled to hold himself up, trying to pull Marhly up with what was left of his strength. He had to be strong.

Blaine would have wanted him to take care of Marhly. Somebody had to. But right at this moment, Kurt wasn't sure it could be him. He stood with her, knees shaking before they were ushered away. Marhly fought and screamed, just trying to get back to Blaine, shouting his name with every step away she had been dragged. Her voice rang out through the cemetary, hurt filling her voice.

"BLAINE!" She screamed, "BLAINE, PLEASE! BLAINE COME BACK! I _NEED YOU! I NEED YOU!"_

"MARHLY!" Kurt found himself shouting, looking at the girl, her eyes red and puffy like his own, "You need to stop. Right now."

"But K-Kurt-" she choked out, collapsing into his arms, "He's my best friend."

"Mine too, Mar. Mine too." He bit back a sob as he rubbed the girl's back. He felt horrible. She had been the one to find him. She had been the one who had to call someone. She had been the one who had to answer questions.

It was like he knew she would find him that morning. He had gotten himself dressed and sat on the edge of his bed, laying back with his feet dangling over the side in what couldn't have been a comfortable position, clinging onto a photo frame with a picture of Kurt, Marhly, Finn and himself before Marhly's junior prom.

Marhly hadn't heard from Blaine all morning, the usual singing and dancing of her dapper brother had been silent, and she chuckled to herself as she padded down the hall in her yoga pants, he had no doubt fallen back to sleep. He had been up late the past week; "Studying for my Chemistry final" he had reassured her when she asked, "Don't worry, Marhly, I'm fine."

Three knocks on the door. No response.

"Blaine?" another three knocks. Still silence. She cautiously had swung the door open, and there he was.

"Blaine, get up." She prompted, pushing on his arm a little, covered by his Dalton blazer, "Blaine." He didn't move, and he was pale.

"Blaine?" she asked again, this time grabbing his hand in attempt to pull him up, like she used to when they were kids. She screamed as she took his hand, ice cold and numb before bursting into tears, shaking him furiously, "Blaine! Blaine, get up!" He didn't move, and didn't open his eyes. He did nothing, but just let himself be shaken like a rag doll.

"Blaine!" she sobbed, collapsing to her knees, his hand still held tight in hers, "Blaine, get up! Please, Blaine! Just get up! Move, do something!" Her breathing became ragged, and she choked on the air as it came to her lungs in short bursts, "Blaine" she croaked, wrapping her other small hand around his as tears began to flood down her cheeks, burying her face in her dead brother's knees, "Blaine, just get up."

Kurt remembered when he had been called. About an hour after Blaine's body had been taken from the house, his phone had rang, a crappy version of himself and Marhly belting out Lady Gaga in the car, their giggles covering most of the lyrics.

"Hey Mar." He had smiled, pulling his car into his spot out front of McKinley.

"Blaine's Dead." she choked out, and Kurt felt his phone fall from his hand onto his lap, quickly scrambling to pick it back up.

"You're a dirty fucking liar." he snarled, "He is not. Put him on the phone."

"Kurt," she choked out, tears flooding her voice, "Kurt, he's gone. Blaine's gone." Kurt had felt rage boil up inside him. This wasn't funny. Who the fuck would think this was funny? But Marhly was a terrible actress. She couldn't cry on cue if her life depended on it.

Blaine had been distant lately. Up all night studying, skipping Warbler's rehearsals. He had been secretive... Could he really be gone?

But none of this meant anything to Kurt now, he could try all he wanted to figure out why Blaine was gone, but all that mattered was that he was. Dead and cold, buried in a wooden box six feet beow the surface, and there was Kurt, sitting at a table accepting condolances from people he didn't know while he held his to-be sister-in-law's hand tight in his own. The love of his life, was gone. Her brother was gone. Their best friend.

Gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Marhly and Kurt sat at the dining room table, boxes of Blaine's things piled up.

"We're so sorry it took so long to get them back to you." Cheif Richards of Lima's police force said with a frown that hid behind his large bushy mustache, "We needed to check everything to see if we could find anything... Anything that would help us give you a reason why." He bit his lip and locked eyes with them both before continuing.

"We found a pair of journals. One was labeled 'Baby Marh Marh. The other says Kurtie-Pie. I assume they're for you." Marhly felt her mouth drop open a little, and her eyes fill with tears; Blaine was the only one who ever called her that. A similar process shot through Kurt's mind as he stood and started to dig through the boxes, searching for the journals. After a few frantic minutes, a pair of journals was pulled from the bottom of a large box, their black covers graced with Blaine's familiar script in Silver sharpie. They flipped them open in synch, and the first page of each book held the same inscription.

_I love you, and I'm so so sorry I didn't let you know what was going on... Don't bother looking in the other journal. The same information is there. Just presented in a different way. I couldn't tell you, I couldn't see you heartbroken._

_I love you, so much, you hear me? You were my best friend, don't you ever forget that._

_ This is going to be hard for you to read, I know that, and I'm sorry._

_ But you need to read this._

_ Please, you need to read all of it, no matter how hard it gets, okay?_

_ I need you to know. -Blaine_

Marhly's breath caught in her throat and she snapped the cover shut. This was no joke, this was Blaine's handwriting. She started to cry as she ran up the stairs and into her room, pulling the cover open again, flipping to the second page. A small piece of laminated paper with a pressed daisy rest there, the back read "_to keep your place, Marh."_ in Blaine's immaculate script. She took a deep breath, and began to read.

_Hey, Marh._

_ I hope you're doing okay, I mean, I know you're not... But I hope you're not cutting again._

_ I knew you did that. Please, for me, don't do it again... I'm begging you. It killed me inside to know that you were so unhappy, and there was nothing I could do about it._

_ I know this is going to be really hard for you, and I'm sorry you had to find me... but, there was no other way, sweetheart, there wasn't. And I know you're probably furious at me for not letting you know what was happening, but I'm going to tell you everything right now, okay? _

_All of it. Every word I said, and every emotion I felt. Every SINGLE detail. I love you so much, Marh. Please, don't stay mad at me for long. And please, I know how if books make you sad you give up on them halfway through. But please, honey._

_ Don't give up on this one. Please, read it all the way through. _

_-Blaine_

Kurt sighed as he watched Marhly run to her room and brought the journal with him as he flopped onto the couch, the silver band Blaine had given him glinting in the afternoon sunlight. He flipped the book to the second page and began to read.

_Kurtie-Pie,_

_Listen babe, I know you're mad I didn't tell you. I know you're hurting because I'm gone._

_But I love you, more than anything._

_and my only regret in life was that I didn't marry you._

_Read this, please. As my final words to you, I want you to know what I was going through, and why I couldn't tell you._

_I love you, Kurt. More than anything in this entire world._

_Je t'aime, mon beau garcon, pour toujours et pour toujours._

_-Blaine  
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